Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to .....,

happy Birthday to ....,happy Birthday to ....
.... daddy ....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Fil

Rock N' Race

Yesterday we all went to our state capitol Concord to watch Fil run in the 5K Rock N' Race. It was a cloudy evening and we even got few drops of rain at the start which I think the runners enjoyed. I am not so sure about those walkers.

Here you can see the start line. There were a total of 1887 runners and walkers all together.

The run started at 6:12 pm. If you are wondering why in the world it would start at such an odd time it was because of live start coverage on our local WMUR television station.

And here is the "Go daddy GO" team.
And the race is on.
This is the official winner of the run.
But our winner is our daddy. Fil is wearing a shirt from his Turkey trot run back in November. It is always fun to watch Fil run. He has done a great job by the way. He ran this run 3 years ago and he was better by 8 minutes this time and he is not hurting like he was few years back.
I couldn't resists to add this picture. We see this car in our small town all the time. I cannot believe somebody would put this huge moose on his car and drive with it.

Fil's Monthly Musings

It has been about a month since I last chimed in on the adoption process and it being Thanksgiving Eve I thought it would be a good time to share some thoughts. I'm thinking of doing this once a month.

I've had to confront the virtue of patience the last several weeks. If you noticed the ticker above we have been waiting for little over month for our court date. While this has been frustrating it causes you to inwardly reflect a little more when you start considering what you should be thankful for (especially at Thanksgiving). When one truly takes the time to contemplate on what they should be thankful for the lack of patience in all areas of life becomes rather convicting.

Of course there are the obvious things that always come to mind one should be thankful for; family and friends, health, and the meeting of various physical needs. Then I started to consider the patience God has had with the human race on a macro-scale; he promised redemption after the fall, saved mankind in an ark, chose to bless all nations through a single nation, remained faithful to that that nation for centuries even though they turned their back on Him many times, and provided a Saviour from that nation that did bless the nations. On a micro-scale he pursues each one of us on personal basis. Yet we continue to turn our backs on Him on a daily basis. However, He is still there even though we aren't much of the time. Then when you consider we are His adopted sons and daughters then you just begin to realize how his heart must ache for us when we aren't with Him. As a result I really have no excuse not to show a patience in regards to this adoption. I trust God that this adoption will be finalized one day. God has submitted his dossier (adoption paperwork) for each one of us with the sacrifice of his Son. The sacrifice has been found legally sufficient. He is simply waiting for the day we come home. Because of that I trust I can be a little more patient before we get to bring our daughter home. I've looked over some quotes on patience this week and this little one was one of my favorites;

"Patient waiting is often the highest way of doing God’s will."

Jeremy Collier

I spent a lot of time reflecting on Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 over the last week. I had quite a bit of fun thinking about it in regards to the adoption. I looked at each verse and tried to find something relevant in the verse pertinent to the adoption process. I probably took too much liberty and made some stretches but I had fun doing so. Below is the passage and under each verse my little commentary. Those of you in the adoption process might have some of the same feelings. Enjoy;


Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

Commentary: Lenka and I were content with our two boys Sam and Nate. Then we were quite surprised when had Emma. We always felt that if our family was to grow it would be through adoption not another biological child.

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

Commentary: Jordan was born this year phycially. Emotionally she was born to us first as an idea and now we have a little face to love. Every time you become a parent you sacrifice a lot and things that were once important pass away. With this adoption we gave up money, time, and a family trip to Florida. What we planted (gained) is new ways to be stretched and trust God. Ultimately Jordan will be uprooted from the world she knows and our lives will change as well.

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

Commentary: Hmmm the kill seemed like a bit of stretch. In a way I had to kill earthly desires in my life to make this adoption happen. Our pastor makes the point quite often that your offerings/sacrifices shouldn't be easy they should hurt. However, through sacrifice comes healing and greater and deeper understanding of God's love. During the adoption process many fears have been torn down; what if the child is not healthy, raising a child of a different race, we can't handle another child, or where is the money going to come from. Again as each fear was faced our faith in God has been built. Adopting from Ethiopia has also forced us to really to face stereotype or prejudices as related to the AIDS crisis in the world.


4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,


Commentary: Each piece of paper that had to be redone caused one to want to weep. Seeing Jordan picture for the first time caused us to laugh and dance. The fact that we don't have her home for the holidays causes us to mourn.

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

Commentary: When we started considering adoption we scattered many stones. Investigated many different agencies and countries. However, as we gathered the stones in we found our agency and country. We embraced the country of Ethiopia and one of their daughters. The adoption process makes me want to sing sometimes. Something tells me that is not the meaning of "refrain" in this context but I couldn't resist :P .


6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,


Commentary: Adoption is all about searching inside yourself and determining what is important in life. When you search deep inside you see what you need to give up or throw away and what is important to keep.

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

Commentary: I felt like tearing up our medical forms many times. No other part of our paperwork process was more frustrating and tore us down. However, when one focused on the end then any frustrations were mended. During the dossier process we were in constant contact with our adoption coordinator. During our waiting period, both pre-referral and post-referral, we have tried to keep communication as minimal as possible. We kind of feel that we need to give people in charge the space to work and they can't do that with us hovering. However, I expect our relative silence to end when things begin to move again.


8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Commentary: Adoption is all about love. A inexplicable bond of love of parents for a child that is not of them. There is also a hate of sin in the world that would cause so much suffering that any child would need to be orphaned. War is waged when you have to go to the New Hampshire Secretary of State Office for the second time trying to get a letter of reference authenticated and having the notary's signature being rejected again. Peace coming 24 hours later when the months of paperwork is complete and you FEDEX it to Virginia.

Ramblings of a father to be (again)

I don't think I have ever posted on a blog before. However, I am Lenka's editor and tend to put my two cents in when I edit her blog entries anyway. Now since we received our referral I feel compelled to at least share some thoughts on this stage of the adoption process.

As a father who has three biological children the 10 months of physical pregnancy was always more of a theoretical relationship rather then a practical relationship. Sure you are excited and in awe of the entire process but the actual bonding, at least for my part, didn't fully occur until I saw those little crinkly faces and held them for the first time. Prior to birth it was much more of a concern for Lenka rather then child. I don't remember if Lenka shared this on this blog but before we had Sam (our first) we went through a series of at least six first trimester miscarriages. Lenka took these very hard. She grieved for the lost child. I had some grief for the lost child but my grieving was much more for Lenka then for the child. I was hurting because she was hurting. Not until the three of them were born did I actually feel like I fully bonded with them. It wasn't a conscious effort it just happened. All of sudden you had this little person you were responsible for and it was 100% natural for me to take on the role of fatherhood. No regrets just the sheer exhilaration of being a proud new father.

When we started the adoption process we began a very extensive paper gathering process affectionately called a paper pregnancy. I lived and breathed every milestone of the paper pregnancy and I bonded with the concept of adoption. I think that if we didn't make it through paper pregnancy I would have taken the rejection personally and had a hard time coping with the fact that someone felt we had certain shortcomings or failures that would disqualify us from being acceptable parents to an adopted child. It was an emotionally draining experience for me. These types of feelings seem to be much more the type of maternal feelings that Lenka experienced during the miscarriages and pregnancy rather then the bystander feelings I had felt during her pregnancies. However, once the paper pregnancy was completed I went into a much more traditional waiting bystander mode similar to the feelings I had while waiting for the birth of our children. Lenka however went into pregnancy mode. The paperwork was done and somewhere in Ethiopia was a little girl that was hers. Lenka was nesting and preparing for the upcoming changes in her life. She started going through another pregnancy.

On October 19th we received the referral for a little two month old girl who turned three months old today. When I saw that goofy little grin for the first time this child was born to me. I instantly bonded. I became a proud father for the 4th time. Although I have never held her she is just as real to me in my mind as my other children. I constantly have her picture open on my work computer and catch myself taking peeks at her throughout the day. People must think I am weird because I just start laughing when I see her. However, the fatherly instincts in me are just breaking. God has given father's a natural disposition to be the protector and provider for their families. Every ounce of me wants to hold this child and let her know everything is fine and you are home now. In a much more perfect way God the Father sees us in much the same way. He knows who we are and he knows the number of hairs on our head. He longs for us to rest in his arms and trust in him as our protector and provider. In a way I believe that moment of birth is probably the closest representation of God's love for us. The parents best attempt at unconditional love for the child and the child's utter dependence on the parents. From that moment on the relationship begins to to loose it's purity because of sin on both sides. If you know me well you know that I am the biggest pushover for little infants. I am sad that I won't have that initial time with this little one. We will probably have her home by the time she is six months old. By then she will already be starting down her own path to independence. She will be dependent on us for many years to come but never like a newborn being held for the first time.

The picture of a father's love and the child's dependence is a beautiful but very flawed representation of God's unconditional love for us. After a few day's a new father begins to complain about getting up in the middle of the night, changing diapers, or just being inconvenienced (although compared to mom he has it pretty easy). On the child's part their sinful nature begins to manifest itself more and more. My two year old daughter still loves it when I come home from work. She still runs up to me and gives me a big hug and a big smile. The boys still welcome me but are more busy and have their own activities and concerns. I see my failings when I tell the kid's that I am too busy or tired to spend time with them. Don't get me wrong I love my kids very much and love to spend time with them and feel we have a wonderful relationship. I also realize that this desire for independence is a natural and good thing. It is just not the perfect relationship that God yearns for with his children. So what does that leave me with? Well ultimately our hope lies in our heavenly Father. Here is the perfect father. He has time to listen to all your problems, wipe your tears away, and give you comfort when no one else can. So you pray that your children will one day come to the realization that although their earthly father has shortcomings their heavenly Father doesn't and loves them unconditionally. It seems rather ironic that the picture of God's love for us is best represented at a child's birth but isn't manifested until death when God finally welcomes you into His arms of eternal rest.

I've rambled on long enough and hopefully not to philosophically for you. I can't wait to hold this little one for the first time. I look forward to the fact that one day she will be my daughter. I look forward to watching her grow from a baby into a woman who trusts and obeys her heavenly Father. What a wonderful day it will be we can pray together (along with the rest of the kiddos) Abba Father to the only one that can meet all our needs.

Peace

Fil